What the Fuck?!?

Well, well, well… it’s me, ya’ girl, Camilla here to bless your eyes with my much anticipated (eye roll) blog, and I have to admit that I’ve been dying to get this off my chest for a minute. What the fuck is a Black woman like me doing with the word ‘cock’ anywhere near my muthafuckin’ name?!? Who the fuck thought that was a good idea!?! I mean… do I look like I enjoy saying ‘Cock?’ Do I give off a ‘Cock-talk’ enthusiast vibe?  These are the random ramblings of a woman who sometimes forgets the harsh but honest reality of language, culture, and the business of phone-fucking. You see, my vocabulary comes from my experience as a Black Puerto Rican woman. A fact that sometimes clashes with the demands of common femdom fantasies and phone-fucking.

                                 Cock…?

I hate the word ‘how to suck a large cock‘ The term ‘Cock’ is so FUCKING ugly! It has to be one of the most unsexy words to be associated with anything sexual. I feel the opposite of horny when a muthafucka starts talking about his “cock,” or as several callers on phone-fuck lines call it their “big fat cock.” The sound of that word is just… ugh! I hate it! There’s absolutely nothing sexy about the way it sounds coming out of my mouth, and believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve said it slower, emphasized the C in ‘Cock, ‘ and it still sounds horrible.

I know that phone-boning for profit requires phone-fuck specialists like me, to adjust to the consumer, and most of the men who spend cash don’t look like the men I grew up with so… I have to speak the language of the unseasoned and hope that my refusal to say THAT word encourages them to follow my lead. But until they do I’ll just have to keep pushing the ministry of the word ‘Dick’ to these horny fuckers.

Every time I get a caller who starts a conversation with ‘My cock…’ I cringe! The word will never feel sexy to me. My pussy revolts against me whenever she hears the word because ‘Cock’ sounds like a slur to her. You know how there are character traits that we associate with tell-tale signs that you may be a serial killer in training… well, I believe the same logic applies to people who gleefully say the word, ‘Cock,’ but instead of criminal activity, I think it means you’re likely to make my pussy go on strike. Furthermore, muthafuckas who say ‘Cock’ are more likely to Erotic versus Submissive Body Worship the devil. I truly believe Cock-talk enthusiasts are a menace to society, and they must be stopped! 

                                Ashy

Don’t get it twisted! My love for the word ‘dick’ does not mean that I love dick. On the contrary, I’m personally indifferent to dick, and more importantly, I find dicks incredibly unattractive. And if you want me to get real funky and tell you the low-down grimy truth about you hoe-ass bastards… most of you ashy muthafuckas don’t even moisturize your dick and balls. Stepping to me on Skype with a crusty dick and ashy balls asking me if I like what I see. Hell, no! You ashy bastard! Grab some lotion and moisturize that ashy anteater, you annoying fuck nugget.

                            I’m on a Mission

Because of the lack of seasoning in the land of phone-fucking, I’ve made getting white men to say “dick” more frequently my sermon. I’m on a mission to change the way white men talk about their dicks. Lord knows it’s a thankless job, but ya’ girl is determined. I will not stop; I refuse to be denied. Complete removal of the word ‘cock’ from the phone-fuck lexicon is crucial for me. I’m on a mission to make you assholes less corny when I talk to you. I’m currently a one-woman army pushing the gospel of dick to all the horny muthafuckas who call this line in search of a nut. But lucky for you, corny, horny, insufferable, bitch-made muthafuckas… I’m the right woman for the job.